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job hunt : limbo.

nausea, but not the reproductive kind. SubhanAllah. gosh.

At the moment when I gave up, I decided to settle for what fate might have prepared for me, a path lower than what I have expected for myself, this week happens. Don't get me wrong, I am not ungrateful, I am plenty grateful. I am ecstatic, or I am suppose to be but nausea is holding me back. 
I thought this week was going to be about waiting for that one offer, that far away place that had welcomed me with open arms and seemed positively open to the idea of having me join their small growing team. I saw myself being patient for a process of carving my desired future. 
Then BAAAAAAMMMMMMMM !!!

Esok pagi, esok after lunch, next week Rabu and finally next week Monday.

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT ??!?!?!!!!

My little window of settling down and finally resting in the far away place beginning mid April is now narrowing. And it is not helping that somehow, coincidentally, that place too decided to make me wait the entire week for the offe…
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Waiting for em' photos.

There is a slight chance my photographer might not come out with our preview album tonight. I just noticed that it is his second year anniversary and sure there must be some kind of celebration going on teheeeeee :) His second year, our second month.
Yes dah dua bulan baru the photos come. Which is both a good and bad thing I would say. It gives you an opportunity to relive the day or the day has long passed that other families are not plenty bothered to get all excited to look at your faces over and over again haha! Tapi kami tetap akan excited of course!! So here I am killing time and hoping that he keeps his word.
Meanwhile, on the job hunting end, it has been 80 applications and counting. No, it is not about not being the season for hiring, it is really being about not standing out in the crowd. Sigh entahla. Some times at least once a week, comes the day where I just get overwhelmed by the feeling of being lost. This journey from taking a pause from my studies and hunting for wo…

Interviews: Artsy no smiley.

60 applications altogether is not an exaggeration. Since before the wedding until now, I have been an avid clicker of the refresh button on Jobstreet. Yes, seeing what's new and hitting the 'apply' button. Rough world out there for TESL masters graduate I suppose. Or rezeki belum sampai I would like to think. The right one will come when it's the right time, Insyallah Ameen. Oh gosh. 
Okay anyhoo, yesterday's interview was among the 3 that I am most excited about. Why? Because it was an Arts Academy that lets young learners the age of 3 to 17 explore their creativity through arts and crafts! From drawing to soap making and baking too! So I berangan myself teaching these children and youngies how to bake and decorate, of course! Furthermore, the environment there is top notch! Concrete walls with neon colored door frames and windows! And that is just the canvas of everything else artsy! Oh I am going on too much but you must check it out for yourselves and see what…

Our Wedding Videos (short).

Alhamdulillah all is done and well. I can't express my gratitude and thanks to all those who have supported us through preparing and making sure the day goes as well as it could. To the overwhelming number of guests, thank you so much for swelling up our hearts with your attendance! Truly humbled by such a beautiful crowd. Behind the scenes team players, you guys rock! Would not have had such a dolled up hall without your handwork and heartfelt efforts :)

Hall decorations by
https://www.facebook.com/Phloraphannatiq
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Nina-Nazris-Biz/156555867797474

If you are getting married in Johor Bahru, these are surely the people you need to get in touch with! 
Here are short clips of the happenings that you've missed because you were partying hard or because you weren't around ;)

Special thanks to Hannani & Faizi for their great work !
https://www.facebook.com/Beehuntstudiovideography

13 days: The Dress.

Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulil…

15 days: Santa came early.

I am officially 28 now :) I hadn't realize that like my brother who got married last year, I too would be getting married a few days after my birthday like him last October. 
Alhamdulillah. Never had thought I could live to see the day that I would be married off. LOL not emo or anything, just that all along, I could picture myself in plenty situations before the experience occur but growing up and being married off, or working and entering motherhood has never been within the list of things that I could see myself doing. Always jokingly thought it might be a sign that I was one of those that would die young, but here we go, 15 days! 
Okay back to the title, I got my very first mixer from ah-boi !! Can't wait to bake in my very own kitchen! Let's see if I can live to see the day, Ameen. 




Oh and by the way, there is a sense of relief filling up the air. Alhamdulillah.
I am free from the haunt. 

17 days: wtf.

I wish peeling off my skin with my blunt nails would be something to do at times like these.
Pulling my hair out so hard is definitely not working.
I can't scream because I would have to answer the questions later.
I have no freedom to run away and be alone.
All I can do is scream so hard inside that I can feel my heart thumping out of my chest.
I wonder how big my capacity is.

Why are these loud songs not making my ears bleed?
They should, it would distract my agony.

*pulls hair all out* fuck.